THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS ESSAY CONTEST WINNERS

"A BROKEN BALLERINA" I'm tired of dancing around like a fool. I hate being a part of this circus. This is not what I pictured. I never wanted this. Broken dreams. No name in lights, for me. Tomorrow's not going to be better. I can't walk away. I'll just dance until I break. I'm trapped inside this world. Addicted to him. I cant leave. I should start driving now, and never look back. But it's just too impossible. He swears he loves me. When we fight, that's when I dance the best. Wanting to continue forever. Because in that moment I'm alive. My heart racing. I'm ready to explode. I'm living in a dream. Hoping for a better ending, but nothing is changing. It's just another coat of makeup to apply. Over top my bruised skin, in the morning. It's always the same. Maybe, I should wake up. I don't want to face reality. I don't want my mum to be right. Everything I know is wrong. Just let me die dancing. I live in fear. I hate living this life. It's better to pretend it's alright. I don't want to be alone. No one else will love me. So I'll stay. I'll fake it, to make it. I can lie to myself. I'm happy. It's alright. See, I'm a liar. I'm dancing as fast as I can, and he's going to be the death of me. Please, end it now. Kill me. Faster, faster. I'm dancing. I'm dying. He wanted to break me. He wanted him self a broken ballerina, now he's got one. I hope he's happy now. Martikkia M.